They say a dog’s nose inhales information the way people read. So when I see Moon sniffing, I figure he’s perusing the books of other dogs.
Shopping
Corduroy
Now I don’t mind being an XLG per se. Who cares, right? But I’m 5’2″, menopause weight 140, and if I’m an XLG, what is everybody else?
Woke Woman Face
Soon a girl’s menstruation party will include gift certificates for Botox along with her first tampons. You’re never too young to fear aging.
Hand Cream
Age is climbing up on me like kudzu, and I feel like I need a plan for what to do with it.
Cupidity
I assumed the word cupidity had something to do with Cupid, that plump little angel who pierces our hearts arrows of love. But Cupid has a dark side.
Queen of the House
She got married, had kids, kept a nice house, and made sure there was always plenty of lunch meat in the fridge for her husband.
Me & My Biota
Amoebas in sexy grass skirts will soon be doing the hula on TV commercials, calmly wagging their hips to quell our fear of microbes and hypnotize us into buying new and improved products squirming with life.