If toys are templates for developing skills and behavior, what was the lesson I was supposed to learn from Betsy Wetsy?
Einstein’s Forehead
If Einstein needed Botox to get a job, the Allies might have lost WW2, My Favorite Martian wouldn’t have been in prime time, and Dick Tracy would have been talking into his necktie instead of his wristwatch.
Thinking in Circles
If we don’t get a grip on our trash problem we’ll be living like medieval peasants again. Fatbergs are coming after us like low budget sci-fi monsters.
Polyamory
Ward Cleaver would have had a heart attack at the breakfast table if June had said, “Ward, I’ve been thinking. Now that Beaver and Wally are in school all day, I’d like to have sex with other men.”
Ham Sandwich Machine
Whether we accept Edmond Belamy represents something new in art, we must admit he represents something very, very old in human relations: the patriarchy.
Pantyhose Nation
Now I’m trying to picture Marlo Thomas with hairy legs and I can’t do it. Long leg hair in sheer stockings is like vacuum packed seaweed.
The Thickening
Fairies broke into my bedroom while I was sleeping and inflated my waistline. That’s the only explanation I can think of for the thickening around my middle.