“Brave, boisterous, ballsy and just downright fun to read.”
An uplifting memoir about midlife reinvention
In this uplifting memoir Billie Best tells the truth about her life. But first she has to figure out what the truth is. When her husband dies and she discovers his infidelity, it seems her whole life was a charade. Alone on her beloved farm, she feeds the chickens and mucks the barn while she rethinks her past.
Things look perfect on the outside, but she’s faking it. Inside she’s a mess. After 32 years of marriage, she’s a widow alone in her dream house keeping up appearances as she discovers the details of her husband’s affair. Yet she protects his secret, even from her friends. Because she still loves him. And because she feels like his mistress is a sign of her failure to be a good wife.
A story of strength and resilience
When her husband decides he wants to be a role model for dying beautifully, she is intrigued. He plans his death like performance art. He intends to die at home, and he wants her to care for his body after he’s gone. She promises to fulfill his wishes. But he dies on a holiday weekend, and keeping his body at home is complicated. So, she throws a party for him. Then she must reconcile the truth and the lies to save her sanity.
A relatable voice with a sly wit
Best’s story about finding love both sensually and architecturally—along with disaster in both realms—is brave, boisterous, ballsy and just downright fun to read. The voice is accessible but intelligent, candid but heartfelt. Get copies for your favorite friends because if they borrow it, they’ll never give it back! —Courtney Maum, The Year of the Horses
A force of pure energy and determination, there is nothing Billie won’t tackle: the perfect marriage, the mid-life career change from successful executive to idealistic farmer, and even, when her husband falls terminally ill, orchestrator of a flawless death-plan according to his wishes. But it takes her ten years of denial and suffering to confront and then triumphantly overcome the cracks in this ideal picture, the specter of infidelity beyond the grave, her obsessive need for tidiness and order, and her attachment to ephemeral things. —Hester Velmans, Slipper
Billie Best knows her way around rock bands, corporate America, small scale farming, and the most complicated business of all: matters of the heart. With her powerful writing, sentences that can lasso, seduce, inspire, and bring tears to eyes, Ms. Best ventures where few dare with such naked honesty. —Maria Nation, The Beach House
Clitapalooza: Her flower blooms power, a sex-tech thriller
“A cheeky exploration of sex and feminism…“ – Kirkus Reviews
Billie Best’s novel Clitapalooza: Her flower blooms power is a comedic sex-tech thriller. Meryl hits sixty and feels like it’s her last chance to live an adventurous life, rewild herself and explore what she’s capable of beyond teaching math. So, she blows up her career as a tenured professor and quits her job to break the rules of adulting. But without realizing it, what she really breaks is her marriage. Angry at her husband for his lack of support, she takes her desire online and falls for an adorable chatbot named Hamish who sells her an AI toothbrush. Then the toothbrush starts communicating with her AI vibrator and she finds herself beta testing a product she really doesn’t want.
From Kirkus Reviews:
All in all, Meryl has it pretty good: She’s a well-liked math professor at a university, she has a gaggle of friends, and her sex life with her husband, Bob, hasn’t yet cooled in their 40 years together. But at 60, she suddenly feels restless, fretting that she has settled for a stable life rather than an adventurous one. So, she makes a quick run of rash decisions, including abruptly retiring, tending butterflies, adopting a pig, and splurging on a $10,000 toothbrush from tech company NanoSmile, largely for its customizable AI companion, which she names Hamish. During a session of self-gratification, using both the toothbrush and her trusty vibrator, a piece of the toothbrush—a nanobot named Quanta—breaks off and enters Meryl’s bloodstream, setting up camp in her clitoris. Meryl investigates the incident with some of her former students and a close friend, Uma, uncovering a broader experiment by NanoSmile’s parent company, BioMantrix—an experiment Meryl may not be able to get herself out of. Through Meryl and her circle of female friends, Best explores multiple feminist and sociological themes that cross generational lines, such as female pleasure stigma, tech surveillance, and what defines true intimacy between two people. The presence of a mega-corporation masquerading as a stable of wellness companies that harvests personal data rather than truly addressing individual needs feels all too relevant, though the author tempers her dark subject with humor; upon discovering the robot in Meryl’s intimate anatomy, the morally bankrupt scientist Dr. Skimmerhorn debates whether to call the new device “iClitoris” or “ClitBit.” … Still, the message of the book, particularly for women who have never had affirming sexual education, is clear: “your body was made to orgasm…You have the right to an orgasm.”
“Hilarious! And beautifully written. She has conjured an ageless way to shine.”
Laugh! Love! Listen! Billie Best’s relatable point of view will have you doing all three as she shares the everyday truths of life beyond 60 in this collection of essays and short stories originally published on her blog at billiebest.com. Easy reading meant to be consumed in bite-sized chunks, these three-minute riffs offer a mini vacation for your mind with bursts of gut punching humor, insightful observations, and colorful characters. Just what you need to age fearlessly. You’ll be validated, inspired, and amused. Previously published as a weekly blog, each post in the book is refreshed with an illustration by Brenda Rose.
Praise from readers —
Once again, Billie Best has captured what it’s like to be a woman, and human! Each short story has a punch of reality, humor, and raw honesty. You’ll catch yourself nodding in agreement and understanding. Her writing is so intelligent and appealing, and makes you look at your own life and admit, I Could Be Wrong! — SF
Billie with her candid, witty, keen insight and hilarious writing style entertains and comforts with pizzaz! I LOVE this book. “I Could Be Wrong” is color, texture, and all heart. — SS
Hilarious! And beautifully written. By capturing her experience and allowing us to laugh, she has conjured an ageless way to shine. — HM