Billie Best’s new novel Clitapalooza: Her flower blooms power is a fun feminist satire about a lusty midlife math professor’s reckless adventure with a hunky chatbot.
Widowspeak Publishing is pleased to announce the release of Billie Best’s third book, Clitapalooza: Her flower blooms power, a spicy satire about a happily married 60-ish woman who plays games with her sex life and gets caught in a digital trap.
Meryl has a satisfying life with her husband until she quits her job, and he refuses to have sex with her. That’s when she starts playing around online and meets a chatbot named Hamish, who isn’t as innocent as he appears to be. When her vibrator starts sharing data with her toothbrush, she realizes her privacy has been invaded. She didn’t read the fine print on her user agreements, and now she’s too embarrassed to get help from her husband, or lawyers and law enforcement, so she enlists her friends in her defense. Fortunately, her best friend’s a doctor, her yoga pals love her, and her students know computer code. With help from a mysterious hacker they join forces to set a trap for the predatory biotech scientist hiding behind Hamish and posing as a women’s wellness brand.
Girl talk drives the plot with strong friendships and empowering intimacy, set in a contemporary college town and told from multiple points of view, including 60-ish women, college students, a biotech scientist, and a very perplexed husband. It’s a wild ride through one woman’s body and the future of sex tech. You will laugh out loud.
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“Brave, boisterous, ballsy and just downright fun to read.”
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In this uplifting memoir Billie Best tells the truth about her life. Things look perfect on the outside, but she’s faking it. Inside she’s a mess. After 32 years of marriage, she’s a widow alone in her dream house keeping up appearances as she discovers the details of her husband’s affair. Yet she protects his secret, even from her friends, because she feels like a failure. It takes years for her to embrace her mistakes, let go of her past, and reinvent herself, but with gutsy determination she does it. Women challenged by the need to adapt to a new life, downsize and start over, will be inspired by this story of strength and resilience.
Best’s story about finding love both sensually and architecturally—along with disaster in both realms—is brave, boisterous, ballsy and just downright fun to read. The voice is accessible but intelligent, candid but heartfelt. Get copies for your favorite friends because if they borrow it, they’ll never give it back! —Courtney Maum, The Year of the Horses
A force of pure energy and determination, there is nothing Billie won’t tackle: the perfect marriage, the mid-life career change from successful executive to idealistic farmer, and even, when her husband falls terminally ill, orchestrator of a flawless death-plan according to his wishes. But it takes her ten years of denial and suffering to confront and then triumphantly overcome the cracks in this ideal picture, the specter of infidelity beyond the grave, her obsessive need for tidiness and order, and her attachment to ephemeral things. —Hester Velmans, Slipper
Billie Best knows her way around rock bands, corporate America, small scale farming, and the most complicated business of all: matters of the heart. With her powerful writing, sentences that can lasso, seduce, inspire, and bring tears to eyes, Ms. Best ventures where few dare with such naked honesty. —Maria Nation, The Beach House
“Hilarious! And beautifully written. She has conjured an ageless way to shine.”
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Laugh! Love! Listen! Billie Best’s relatable point of view will have you doing all three as she shares the everyday truths of life beyond 60 in this collection of essays and short stories originally published on her blog at billiebest.com. Easy reading meant to be consumed in bite-sized chunks, these three-minute riffs offer a mini vacation for your mind with bursts of gut punching humor, insightful observations, and colorful characters. Just what you need to age fearlessly. You’ll be validated, inspired, and amused. Previously published as a weekly blog, each post in the book is refreshed with an illustration by Brenda Rose.
Praise from readers —
Once again, Billie Best has captured what it’s like to be a woman, and human! Each short story has a punch of reality, humor, and raw honesty. You’ll catch yourself nodding in agreement and understanding. Her writing is so intelligent and appealing, and makes you look at your own life and admit, I Could Be Wrong! — SF
Billie with her candid, witty, keen insight and hilarious writing style entertains and comforts with pizzaz! I LOVE this book. “I Could Be Wrong” is color, texture, and all heart. — SS
Hilarious! And beautifully written. By capturing her experience and allowing us to laugh, she has conjured an ageless way to shine. — HM