Cultivate Your Ecstasy

I wake up in the night and my dog is in his ecstasy position sleeping on his back on the end of our bed with all four paws in the air and his head floating sweetly to the side as if he lives in a perfect world. And he does. Because he lives in that moment without a ghost of memory to remind him of danger. He’s not haunted by the horrors of our time. He is my role model. I’m sage smudging my brain today to get the frightening spirits out and cleanse my inner air. My survival mechanisms are kicking in. I need to rediscover my own ecstasy position.

Things have changed. I’m adapting. Ecstasy is unfathomable, so that’s my focus. I want it back. To manage my mood, I have to do some serious mental feng shui; eliminate the clutter around my thoughts, rearrange my head space, balance my energy and clear avenues for my flow. When my emotional life feels like an obstacle course, I need dopamine. So, pro-tips for dopamine release. 

First, I’m getting physical with my human to human relationships because social media has become a deep fake with too many robots manipulating our interactions. Hugging releases dopamine. I hug the ones I love for as long as we can hold the posture and blend bodies. I garden. I follow birds. I walk my dog. I witness the river. I think about the colors I see and ponder their changes. I seek thoughtful conversations and I nest in them. If it feels good, do it. 

Second, I’m cancelling my relationship with mainstream media and seeking out individual humans I consider to be authoritative sources, intelligent and evenhanded in their summary of the news. I feel like I’ve been lied to, so no more propaganda. Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.

Third, oh my god, and this is the hardest choice of all. I think I have to give up cheese. Substance abuse. Cheese is my comfort food, my slippery slope, the bane of my intestines, and the ruination of my body image. It’s not good for my gut bacteria, whom I wish to be friends with because they produce my dopamine. Without happy gut bacteria, I’m prone to bingeing on Rick & Morty and washing down lumps of brie with maple syrup. Then my guts turn to cement and I’m reminded of a whole different ecstasy position. 

Ecstasy is biology. To make good mood soup I have to manage my biochemistry, drain the cortisol swamp and practice fastidious mental hygiene. Keeping my mind clear of unhealthy stimulus has the same effect on my thoughts as eating fiber has on my gut bacteria. I’m cultivating positive vibes with broccoli, brown rice, chia seeds and cabbage. If I maintain a healthy diet, I don’t binge. Same as if I don’t consume propaganda, I don’t doomscroll. But every once in a while, I slip off the wagon and dunk myself in despair, and here we are. 

So, I’m setting boundaries to protect myself from mental pollution. For example, hate. There is a lot of hate going around. It seems to be contagious. As though hate is the antidote to hate. And yet, everyone, including you and me, makes mistakes. And everything all around us is changing all the time. These are facts. Hate is propaganda. When we hate people categorically, we deny the possibility of change. We fossilize our thoughts by refusing to learn. We fail to adapt. Hate is for dinosaurs. A closed mind traps ignorance on the inside.

Don’t be confused. Resistance and hate are not the same. Resistance training builds strength. Resistance is friction. Mental friction sharpens the mind. Resistance is critical to balance. Resistance is flexible, adaptive, nimble. Hate doesn’t allow for the learning and diversity that resistance requires. Hate is a weakness. Don’t fall for it. Resist. 

Reminding myself of these things is the way I manage myself. People change their minds. We learn from our experience that a point of view we once held is no longer productive or valid or appropriate or necessary. Cultivating ecstasy is a coping mechanism, a life hack that creates a positive feedback loop between your mind and body, your personal feng shui. Resist extremes. Find your balance to encourage your flow. Stay out of the stress factory. Eat to encourage your gut bacteria to produce dopamine. Invest in authentic relationships. Cultivate the garden, not the machine.