Senior Moments

I was feeding my dog, Moon, breakfast, filling his water and food bowls, while I was thinking about my shoes, trying to decide if I need a new pair of super bouncy sidewalk shoes. The season is changing, and so are the rules for color. I just don’t know if I can wear my cute pink Skechers in November. My mother drilled it into me that white and pastels are the palette from Memorial Day to Labor Day, after which we wear earth tones, until holiday when we switch to jewel tones. Even though that sounds like a lot of old school BS — which it is — after all these years, that’s how my eyes see color. So I definitely can’t wear pink walkers in winter, I say to myself, as I’m pouring water over Moon’s kibble and placing his food bowl on his doggy placemat in the kitchen.

On the other hand, white shoes are really in style right now. Can I wear my white leather Reeboks in winter? It doesn’t feel right. Reeboks take me back to the 1980s when I lived in Boston, and women’s athletic shoes became a symbol of our new fitness focus. Reeboks were the first shoe brand to spotlight women athletes. Back then I wore sweatpants and did jumping jacks. Cybill Shepherd wore a pair of orange Reeboks to the Emmys in 1985. She said she was so sexy, she didn’t have to wear high heels. All this nostalgia was billowing through my mind as I rinsed Moon’s water bowl and refilled it.

These days athletic shoes are called trainers, sneakers, tennis shoes, or running shoes. Everybody wears them, even if they’re not training, sneaking, playing tennis, or running, and the color patterns are garish, the uglier the better. All the big fashion brands are doing ugly shoes. By noon I’m still mentally in shoe world, scrolling through websites, reminiscing about my first pair of clogs, remembering platforms and wedgies, browsing wedgie sneakers. Then Moon wants lunch, and his water bowl is missing. The place where it should be on his doggie placemat is empty. I have the insane thought, How did he do that? How does a dog move his water bowl without spilling it? I know I filled it. I know it. Then I get all spooky with myself about dementia because I can’t find my dog’s full water bowl, or any spilled water.

Meanwhile Moon is pacing. I focus on feeding him as I plan for my imminent demise. I’m must have Alzheimer’s. My mom did. If I can’t find my dog’s water bowl, how do I even know where I am? Dying of dementia is going to be really sad. I better go shoe shopping now while I can still remember how to get home. Tearfully, I put my coat on and then I see it. There on the front doormat beside my Reeboks is Moon’s full water bowl. Yup. I’m definitely losing my mind.

One thought on “Senior Moments

  1. Love that ya have a Weimeraner. Ours was Boo. After Boo Radley. Ball sack like a dried apricot. But he was in love with the Dachshund Mopsey who lived down the street. My ‘sometimers’: leave dirty doyles dishes at the bar, empty pint glasses in the kitchen until i figure it out.

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